Now that Tink is a little older and not necessarily what I consider an infant, I have my body at least back to pre-prego form, Bugs is in school, and enough time has passed to let me somewhat forget my pregnancy, I am really feeling awesome about life. Things are just coming together again and I feel soo good about where I am and what's going on.
Aside from finally feeling like my family is 100% on the Earth, I just have a peaceful feeling about where I've been spending my time. I wish I didn't have to work but I am so blessed with an occupation that allows me to make a suitable living in a short time, and I can be back home with my kids and not feel like I've neglected them by placing money as a priority over their welfare. Because if I seriously were to work ANY more than what I work, it would be just gravy. I could see myself getting selfish very quickly if I were to allow myself a few more hours here and there.
I've virtually spent all week in the kitchen doing something practically each day toward food preservation. But I've also been cleaning out cupboards and getting rid of things we don't need/use anymore, and basically getting things in there back in order.
I've been monumentally low on funds this week so I've not gone shopping at all nor spent any money on things that I don't absolutely need. It's been refreshing to just say "no" when I think of going to a store. I love to shop but it's really silly when I buy things that are great at the moment but just end up as clutter I have to clean later. The more loads I take to donate crap I don't need anymore, the better I feel - so why do I constantly bring more stuff into my house that will inevitably take the trip to D.I. (our salvation army in Utah) anyway? It's stupid.
But that's another thing - more has been going out of here than coming in and that's awesome. With my limited funds, I'm also trying to be more creative with meals, with my wants/desires, and how I'm getting around buying the things I feel the need to go get right this minute! It's good practice.
Mainly, the fog has lifted off of me. I no longer am out of it. I am on the "other side". Ugh, the whole time I was considering having another baby, I knew that the pregnancy and first 6 months would be the hardest part but if I could just get on the "other side" of it, life would just get better and better. And now I'm here and I can't believe it. I'm not going to ever have to go through that again because I'm at peace with not having any more children and now my family can just continue on with our life. That really just feels so good.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
The Fog Has Lifted & Other Life Thoughts
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2 backward glances:
Yay for peace!!! I'm struggling with that right now, so I'm hoping, when the time is right I'll feel it. You DO sound so much like the old you...only new and improved. It's a beautiful thing. :)
What a happy post. I agree with Tiffany...sounds like the old Amy with some upgrades because that's what challenge brings to us...upgrades. You go girl!
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