Thursday, October 30, 2008

How Times Have Changed

In years past when SP has been gone over night to a grandma's house or otherwise, it has been literally party-time for mom. I had lists and lists of things I would do if I had the chance and take advantage of the time, I surely did. Everything from movies, to dinner with friends to hanging out at the bookstore - stuff you can't do with a toddler-in-tow.

Yesterday, I dropped SP over at my mom's for a "grandma-halloween-extravaganza" and she stayed the night. She won't come home until later this afternoon.

Would you like to know what I've done since she's been gone?

1) Yardwork: yee-haw, I could have done that while she was here but it had to be done

2) ok - I went on a much-needed dinner-date with The Marshmallow and had a fantastic time. Makes me remember why I married the man to begin with. I sure like him.

3) Went to bed early so I could ...

4) Go to work this morning at 6am (no, I didn't even SLEEP IN! Am I nuts or what?) and have been working since.

So see? I've not really done anything on my list of "get the kid out of here and let's have some fun" - except have a date.

I guess that means she's finally reached an age where I don't feel like she limits me much anymore and that's a great thing! Just in time to have another baby!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Have you ever been standing in the bookstore or the library wondering how in the heck you're going to find a book worth reading? There's no fool proof way of finding a fantastic book merely by looking at covers and reading the flaps. Believe me, I've done it millions of times and more often than not, ended up with a total dud.

Those days are OVER though, my friends. I'm here to plug GoodReads, a fantastic new internet site (well, I'm not actually sure how new it is, but it's relatively new to me) that lets you rank all the books you've ever read and share them with your friends.

You'll find out pretty quickly which of your friends share your interests in books by just reading through the lists of books they've liked/disliked. And then, when you are headed to get a book, just look at their list and choose one they loved - chances are, you're going to pick a winner.

I like that I can access GoodReads from the library because if I happen to have forgotten to find out a book I want to get, I can just hop on the internet and look it up while I'm there!

No paid advertising here - just a heck of a good idea!

p.s. there's a widget on the left that links to my GoodReads page!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


I just can't get over it. I just don't remember feeling like this day after day when I was pregnant with Natalie. It's so weird.

Not a second goes by, especially after noon, when I am not irritable, short, impatient and intolerant, and don't think for a minute that I don't let my family know I'm on one - THEY KNOW. It's mainly the incessant chatter of my 4-year old that makes me want to rip my hair out and cram it down her throat. But even my incredibly patient and long-suffering husband drives me insane half the time, and he's the one who gladly tries to take my burdens when he walks through the door.

I pray nightly for more patience, to feel better so that I'm not so snappish so I'd hate to see what I'd be like without the blessings I'm undoubtedly receiving for doing what the Lord wants me to do (yeah, I really wanted to do it too, but it's a lot because I knew he wanted me to have another child). I'm too selfish to voluntarily do really hard things without a little protest.

The Marshmallow would tease me that my last pregnancy was hard on him - well by the time this is over, he will absolutely be a saint for putting up with my grumpy personality for the next 3 1/2 months.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

4 Year Old Independence

As you know, I live on a very busy street which was recently made only slightly better by the addition of a sidewalk last summer. Unfortunately the sidewalk doesn't wrap around to other streets so it's not like it's any safer for a four year old to go walking to a friend's house on it.

SP has a couple of friends she frequently plays with on the street directly behind us. But because of the safety issue, we always have to load the kids into the car to deliver them for playing, and it's a huge pain.

Fortunately we have a little walkway behind my house between the fences of the homes that leads out to the street behind us. But in the years since it's been used, it's grown over with grapevines and all sorts of other vines. I decided today to clean it out to allow SP some independence in going over to her friends' houses without me having to go with her all the time.

It took me two hours, and I'm exhausted now but it was so worth it to see her truckin' through the path over to her friend's house to see if she could play. I can hear her saying many times in the future months, "Mom, can I go see if ________ can play?"

The worst part though is she has to cross that neighborhood road all by herself and as she went today, my heart beat fast as I took a big step myself in letting her grow up. In prep for my next daughter, I've found myself making many changes to help her make steps to grow up - if not just to help me out. Changes are hard, but good.

Monday, October 20, 2008

A True Nightmare

I had the worst dream last night. It was truly a nightmare.

I have no idea what week of pregnancy I'm in, other than I'm pretty sure I'm now past the point where the baby would survive should something happen.

And in my dream, something did happen and I gave SEVEN babies!

So here I am with 3 boys, and 4 girls all about the size of dollhouse characters. Then The Marshmallow went to work and left me with them. They were all lined up on the bed sleeping and I kept losing them in the sheets. I'd count the babies and one would be missing so I'd smooth out the sheets and there would be a tiny little bump and I'd uncover a baby. I was sure it was dead but thankfully it was okay.

They slept for an entire day after they were born and after a while I figured they were probably hungry so I decided I should try to nurse them. I picked up the first boy and he opened his HUGE mouth and he had teeth! That's what woke me up - but the dream was so REAL that it just kept going even while I was wide awake lying in the dark.

I just kept thinking during the whole dream, "Now how am I ever going to give SP any attention with seven other babies?" That was my biggest stress, oh yeah - and how I was going to get seven car seats in my Jeep. Can you guess what I'm most worried about?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

No Excuses

Two nights ago, my daughter was whining about something, and had been whining about it for a while. I was at my limit. It was late and I was tired. I'd had enough and really just wanted lights out and to be done being a mom for the night.

But she started to cry and whine about this stupid thing and I literally lost it. I yelled loudly and told her to shut-up. It scared her. She did shut-up, quickly. I slammed her door and went and sat in the dark for a minute and caught my breath.

I know there are parents out there who might yell at their kids and not think what I did was really all that bad, but I'm not that kind of parent. I have never yelled at my daughter in a tone like that. I hardly ever raise my voice above an impatient tone. I have never told her to shut-up. For me, that's completely unforgivable behavior for a parent.

I sat there thinking all of these things. I have made it 4 1/2 years without behaving this way. I know that pregnancy brings out all sorts of weird behavior but it's not acceptable to me to treat my daughter badly just because I'm tired and pregnant. I felt worse about my behavior than probably anything else I have ever done to her.

I went back in and held her and apologized. She actually was confused as to what I was saying sorry about and I explained to her what mommy had done wrong, and I promised I'd never say that to her again. She's old enough to get it.

I hope this isn't one of those memories she has for the rest of her life.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Random Mind Travels of the Day

  • My GPS doesn't pick up the new Legacy Highway. It shows me driving through a field.

  • EmilieJayne is closing their doors. 50% off all items! Sad huh?

  • Why does an Ikea trip always take at least 3 hours?

  • Does anybody else leave the price tags on their clothes when they leave the house by accident?

  • This pregnant person in scrubs just looks like a fat person in scrubs.

  • Anyone else think that Bob the Builder just needs to kiss Wendy and get it over with?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Change in Transportation

About 3 weeks ago, we bought a new car and traded the Tahoe in. We got a new Jeep Grand Cherokee (again) this time - our third since we've been married.

The Marshmallow has already had some bigger tires and flashy wheels put on (that took about 3 days) and he wants to tint the front windows to an illegal shade, which on one hand makes it sort of difficult to drive at night, but really makes the car look snazzy. And hey, I don't do much driving at night anyway, especially once the baby comes. To heck with all the chihuahuas poor innocent animals I mow over because I can't see 'em.

Jeeps seem to fit my body type well, and I feel really comfortable driving them. It is definitely more compact than my Tahoe which has been a little difficult getting used to, but then what did I need all that space for anyway?

Yesterday, I was able to have an iPod adapter installed in the Jeep (hooray!), something that I swore my next car would have. No sense in having such a huge music collection if I can only listen to it in my house. So far having the adapter has been so much fun. I want to just drive and drive and drive.

Anyway, that's probably the biggest news around here - my new car. I guess I wasn't REALLY excited about the new car because it was one of those "responsible adult" decisions. The Tahoe was seriously killing us in gas and so downsizing a bit helped us economically. We ate it a little on the Tahoe since we turned it in before our lease but what do you do? Our payment went down and so did our gas cost.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Learning To Use My Camera

I signed up to take some basic photography lessons from my good friend Kelly, who incidentally is going to do other sessions of this same class so if you're interested - check out her blog, or email her. Up until today, I was pretty frustrated, thinking I was never going to "get it".

Today I took SP on an outing and tried to put into affect some of what I'd learned so far. Considering I took probably about 30 pictures and I'm only really pleased with a small handful, I still consider it successful.

Here are a few "wall-worthy" ones:

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Newest News

It's so interesting the varied diagnosis you can receive when you're pregnant. I'm serious! Random diagnosis that never even entered your realm of thought before are now pinned to your medical chart - or at least your medical history (which no, they aren't necessarily the same thing).

My last pregnancy, I received the dubious honor of being lactose intolerant - and don't forget the cat allergy. Both of which only affected me while I was pregnant. Fortunately the lactose intolerance hasn't caused problems with me yet this time around. That's a miserable one folks.

Today, I was diagnosed as an asthmatic, provided with an inhaler and told that it may never go away. What?

When I was 12, I told people I had asthma so I could get out of running the obligatory mile around the playground, but of course it wasn't true. And now that I actually WANT to run the mile, I might have this stupid asthma to hold me back. Perhaps it's karma. Now wouldn't that be justice?

At 20 weeks, I can only wonder what's next. Fibromyalgia?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Productive Day, Unproductive Moments

...and yet, those unproductive moments just were SO productive as I gave back to myself a little bit of silence, and serenity.

I had a blast of "old self" today and made a huge list of "productives", and just like the former me I laid into them with zest accomplishing one after another like clockwork. The only difference is that now I need a few rests so that I don't crash (well, I did anyway but that's another story).

At a recent party, a friend gave little baby-food bottles of varied jellybellies. And I came across them in my travels. During one of my breaks, I took the little bottle into a dark room and I sat with my eyes closed eating one after another, letting my sense of taste take over. I analyzed each flavor, shutting the rest of the world out as I tried to figure out what each bean was just from taste. It was wonderful!

I discovered that my favorites were true beans themselves..."coffee", "vanilla", "chocolate" - although my favorite still is that toasted marshmallow. My least favorite tastes like baby aspirin. (orange creme or something like that).

So enjoyable did I find this quite moment to myself that I didn't even mind when eventually SP came in to break the silence by insisting I give her all of the green ones. I mean, what good's a jellybelly if you can't even share them?

Sunday, October 5, 2008

I Guess I'll Come Back

I've been busy since I last posted. But rather than bore you with all I've been up to, I thought I'd just share with you a special part of today.

We went to my in-laws this weekend where I got to watch General Conference with my M-in-law, and my sister-in-law. Some of you may know that my young sister-in-law recently lost her husband in an accident, and they have very young twins. They are now 22 weeks old: a a boy and a girl. If I refer to them on my blog, I'll call them Tank and Ladybug to protect the innocent, lol.

So far, I've not managed to get the Ladybug to sleep as she's a real Mama's girl but today, she snuggled up to me and I rocked that precious little bundle off to dreamland. I got up and went to the mirror after she was asleep and there I was, holding a baby again. My belly's probably about the size it will be after I deliver so it was as if I was holding a newborn (she's pretty tiny), so the affect was sort of realistic and I looked content.

Can you tell I'm getting excited?