Catching Up

I suppose I'll come back. It's been nearly a month since I blogged last and several times I've missed blogging but then I get caught up in other things and the moment passes. But I have more than just one reason for blogging and some other reasons came back to me and so here I am.

I want to keep this up; I miss the constant back-and-forth communications with readers. I miss living my day through my blog and writing out my next post in my mind, testing phrases, taking a relevant picture...it's fun. But in a day of busy things, it can become just another thing. With a baby, you have prized moments to achieve goals when they're sleeping. Tink still sleeps a lot but less and less all the time. The good thing is that she's now old enough to sit up and play for isolated amounts of time by herself or with her sister. I'm able to get more done.

Tonight there's a meteor shower between 12am and 5am. Daughter #1 has made a special request to watch it. I considered...what could it hurt? I told her when Tink wakes up to eat in the night, I'll feed her then come get her and we could go outside and watch the meteor shower. It's supposed to be pretty spectacular and it's been a long time since I've seen one. I hope it's a memory she'll be able to retain.

The Marshmallow's out of town and has been going out of town frequently for work. I'm grateful for the time "off" so to speak. No checking the clock for the 5pm downer - dinnertime where I'm on the spot to produce food that all will enjoy - a task virtually impossible anymore since Daughter #1 stubbornly refuses to eat a single thing and patently "hates" all foods I cook on sight. Perhaps I don't blame her.

While The Marshmallow is gone, my schedule/routine changes a lot indicating to me that I make a lot of compromises in my lifestyle to be married. Do we all do that and to what degree? I sleep with a fan on my face: he hates it. I stay up late: he goes to bed early. I sleep in: he gets up early. I eat dinner whenever I feel hungry and I eat random weird things: he likes a set time to eat and a "real meal". He watches TV - like the news etc religiously every night until 10:17 when the weather's over: I hate TV and avoid it at all costs. I don't know if he would be different than what he does now if I weren't around but my gut tells me no. He does what he does because that's what he likes. But these compromises I make aren't awful, they're just not how I would live were I single. It's probably good. I lack discipline.

My "quest" to lose weight is going well. I've managed to rid myself of over 50 lbs. of whatever it is I gained while I was pregnant. I have about 8 lbs to go to be pre-prego weight, a size I didn't like at the time anyway but if things keep going like they're going, perhaps I can get below that dreaded size and into some of my smaller clothes. The journey's good.

My baby is growing up. Can you believe she's nearly 6 months old now? When I hold her in the rocking chair to feed her in the night, her little fat legs hang over the side of the chair. I remember not very long ago I could hold her whole little body right inside my arms. She's a happy baby, very active and stubborn. She's a wonderful sleeper regularly dropping off at 7:30 and sleeping until 7:30 or 8:00 AM with only one night feeding. Yea, I've got it made. My night independence only had a slight sabbatical. I'm lucky.

What else can I ramble on about to catch you up? Who knows. My life is getting back to normal and I'm finding myself again, shaking off the dust and wiping down the cobwebs. The rooms in my house are remembering the old Amy and the layers of junk are getting cleared out finally. Organization is becoming more of a theme every day and I'm happy.

My only complaint right now is that I miss my friends. My life, or the life of a mother with an infant, changes so much. I feel removed somewhat from former social circles mainly because I can't participate fully with such a small baby. I make efforts where and when I can but it's difficult and I look forward to the day when I can re-assert my personality back into life the way I am used to.

Oh, and today I got an MRI on my back. Weird procedure. If you were around me at all during my pregnancy, you'd remember how much I complained about this incessant back pain that completely debilitated me. Oh, I'd had it before I got pregnant just not as bad and now that I'm "back to normal" the pain is still here and it's something I just don't think I can tolerate for the rest of my life without intervention. I had an X-ray last week with no significant findings. I'm anxious for Thursday to find out the results of this test.

So...if you're still with me, I'd like to mention a little thing that happened to me this past weekend. In a forum where I frequently discuss my sprituality and things that happen at church, I received my very first "persecution". Living in Utah and being a "Utah Mormon" we get little of this head-on. We hear about it a ton but rarely does it manage to penetrate our culture, right? Well, in this forum some anonymous person called me a "worthless Mormon" - just like that. I suppose it could have been a more heated term, filthy and rude. But it struck me all the same. That some person in this world considers a person "worthless" just because of their religion is a theme that has been at the heart of many conflicts - some bloodier than a Gettysburg battlefield. But now I'm worthless...because I'm LDS. Strange.

I'll leave it at that note. Sorry to blather on and on and on but catching up can take a while. TTFN.