The Old Lady Down The Street

A big part of my "new" job is going to my patient's home to see how they are doing and if they are safe in their home, both cognitively and physically.

I have to tell you how many times I go to someone's home, usually a little old lady who lives by herself, to find that not only is she unfit to be living there alone, but that she has no one close by that can help her out with simple tasks.

For example, I visited a lady yesterday. I got there at 11:30 am. Part of my questioning (aimed at memory) asked her what she had for breakfast. Turns out she didn't have breakfast because the girl from my company that was supposed to come help her make it, wasn't able to come. This poor lady didn't have anyone to call to come, had a ferocious hunger headache and really had no clue how to make a bowl of cereal for herself. Granted, steps should be taken to where she's no longer living alone in that situation and that's partly my job but I'm only called in on the cases that are known about. You'd be surprised how many of these ladies go on living like this until they fall and end up in a nursing home.

So, I'm asking you - are you aware of who lives on your street and neighborhood? Do you suppose there might be someone who might benefit from you calling them and asking them if you can pick up a gallon of milk for them, or taking out the garbage to the curb so they don't fall on their driveway, or grabbing their mail for them?

It doesn't take much time for you to be aware and help out a little bit to prevent these people from accidentally starving themselves or literally being forgotten to death.

Firefox Snaplinks

For you Entrecard recipro-droppers who have upgraded to Firefox 3.01 and use Snaplinks, you'll notice that snaplinks is no longer compatible. Rather than give up on it, since it's such a handy little add-on (I'll explain its purpose below in case you've missed on this gem), then go here and download the new Snaplinks - the bug has been fixed and can now be used, thank goodness. I don't know what I'd do without it!

Snaplinks allows you to open multiple links (like in a long list) by simply using your right click to select and click to open. It's a terrific add on for mass droppers.

Check it out!

Sorry - I know this isn't my regular type of post but a lot of my visitors come from Entrecard and this applies to them!

Declawing

Poor little Mickey got his front claws removed today. He came home with purple bandages on his paws and he walked on his elbows (?). If I didn't feel so badly for him, I'd have laughed at his antics.

I think the vet must have put something on those bandages so he wouldn't try to gnaw them off but it didn't work. They were chewed off by 9pm.

There is a big fight against declawing I guess, from my quick search but we got this cat mainly as an inside cat so don't worry - we haven't jeopardized his life by removing his only means of defense. It wasn't even a materialistic need to salvage our furniture.

The only defense this cat really needs is against an over-zealous 4-year old. The problem was that he was really attacking her (in play) instead of defending himself and she has scratches all over her little legs. He loves to play with her, and in the mornings repeatedly jumps out from behind corners swatting and biting her legs and toes. It's gotten to the point where she locks him out of her room just so she can play in peace.

So I'm not a heartless cat owner who likes to inflict pain upon my pets. I just want peace on earth. What's wrong with that?

Some People

I had to call the vet today to inquire about vaccinations for our cat. While talking to the secretary who was obviously high on being The Secretary, we got all the way through the details of price, scheduling, etc and then down to business of making the appointment, which I did for 3 weeks from now. And, she said that the vet wanted to "see the cat" prior to doing any procedure. Whatever. It's a cat, not an exotic reptile. I mean I value God's creatures but geez.

I wasn't exactly happy with some of the details she had given me so to be fair, I told her I'd probably check with a few other vets and I possibly would...at this point she interrupted me to say in a very haughty and condescending tone (and I quote)

"well [she huffed], you need to understand that The Doctor is a very busy man, and his time is extremely valuable, so you'll need to really make sure that you call us..."

at which point I interrupted her to say (and I quote) - [I'll bet you can just imagine what I said!]

"I can't believe you just said that! Now, that's really the most humorous thing I've heard all day. You certainly aren't insinuating that The Doctor's [with special emphasis] time might be more precious than say, mine? I realize that he must be very busy but I won't waste his time and will certainly be calling if I decide to take my business elsewhere. Perhaps I sound snotty to you, but you might just check your tone too, my dear."

Now I know that probably wasn't the best way to handle that but seriously guys. Seriously. Who in the world did she think she was talking to?

And yes, I did cancel the appointment. Because honestly - can you really see me showing my face in that clinic? She'd probably make it a point to stay late just to poison my cat.

And there my friends is my attitude...again.

Perspective on Heaven

I read the following story on Noble and Ruddy this morning. I don't normally like to re-print other's blog posts, nor post things of this length but this story warranted both, and so I asked for permission.

I hope you enjoy it like I did:

A Teenager's View of Heaven

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote.." It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven.. I know I'll see him."

Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at ." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me.. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards.. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

If My Memory Lapses

DH decided to make tacos for dinner tonight, which in and of itself is kind seeing that it was 6pm and I was sprawled on the couch zonked out. He doesn't cook regularly.

I woke up as he began defrosting the hamburger and I couldn't think of where to escape since I knew what was coming next...the actual cooking of the meat. Ack!

But it never came! Finally I went upstairs to find out what was up and there he was out on the deck frying the hamburger in a pan ... on the barbeque!

Being that my emotions are on the fringe right now anyway, I was very near tears when I thought of how considerate he was to do that very inconvenient thing.

In the months to come when I might grumble about this and that marital issue, please remind me that I have a wonderful and thoughtful man who obviously cares a great deal about me. I heart him.

Does Anyone Know?

We love raw oysters and get them regularly whenever we go to a good seafood restaurant. We went to Market Street for lunch today and DH ordered them on the halfshell, but I didn't have any for fear that they were on the "avoid" list for expectant moms.

I know that most other fish is to be avoided in quantities more than about 2-3 oz a week but can only assume it stands for the mussel group too. Do they contain mercury also?

Can anyone help me?

Difference Between Night and Day

As I lay in bed last night trying to fall asleep (sleeping in the day is no problem, it's getting to sleep at night that is tough - weird!), my mind was tormenting me. So much was going through my mind and I have a lot of stuff to think about.

I feel like there's more going on my life right now than in a very long time. It's freaking me out and the worst part is that most of it is on the down-low so there's not many that I can really discuss it with other than DH and a select other few. And you know, I'm just not that kind of person. "Discreet" is just not really a good adjective for me unless I'm your loyal and true friend and you've sworn me to secrecy!

But last night I was on a "poor me" kick and I was feeling so negatively about everything. My career (wasn't I just rejoicing about that like 2 days ago?), my social life, my physical self image, depression, finances - just overall stressing and making myself crazy. I was even ready to get up and post something like, "nothing to blog about today except but to spew negativity all over the internet - sorry."

I woke up this morning and it was all different. The sun was shining, I had energy. I wasn't sick and I was able to get a lot done today (actually cleaned my house). I felt good and I talked to a few friends that I thought might hate me after being silent and hermit-ish for so long.

So, after all...I don't hate myself and my whole life. I like me and my life. All of my friends are wonderful even the new ones I'm starting to make. I appreciate all of the thoughts and help I've received. I need to avoid the late-night pity parties.

What a Spaz

I'm sitting here trying to recover from a sleep-induced stupor from which I only got 5 hours of sleep because SP WILL NOT sleep an entire night in her own bed (who's fault is this you might ask?). This is definitely going to hit the fan in about 5 months because I refuse to have 2 children in my bed at the same time. If it were up to me (which you know, it's just not), I refuse to have any children in my bed at any time but I married a marshmallow, and that's just all there is to say about that!

anywaaaaaay.......

So I'm sitting here checking my email in an otherwise very quiet house when all of the sudden, the cat, who is like the tazmanian devil in the morning comes tearing down the hall with a large yellow balloon on a string stuck to its paw. The balloon is bopping against the floor, the wall, the cat's head and everything else and the cat is literally freaking out as it careens around corners and slides through the kitchen trying to escape the yellow monster chasing it!

ITIGTASNTIPM! (That's: I think I'll go take a shower now that I've peed myself, for all of you who don't know text language!)

The Improved Bathroom: Finally

The "master" bathroom has been 99% complete now for a month or so. DH has gotten a lot better at completing details and so I've had a nice room for a while. The hold-up in displaying his handiwork is that I haven't gotten around to getting it organized. Putting all the bathroom stuff back in there, and putting up my little organizational aides...you'll see what I mean.

I took pictures of all my favorite parts of the bathroom. But first, here's the "before" pics one last time for all you new readers who don't have the full perspective.

Note the ridiculously high window and beautiful green carpet. What you can't see is the nursing home border around the top of the room. Lovely.

And here are the things I LOVE in my bathroom.......

Check out the hardware - AND the lovely paint job done by who else...ME!

Blessed window that I can actually see out of!

Beautiful light fixture that makes me look ravishing every morning!

Love this!

This throne is so awesome! The lid is one of those non-slammable type where it closes slowly by itself. I LOVE it!

I love how uncluttered this looks without a big vanity. The mirror is perfect too!

Thank you Ikea!

No space on the sink - had to figure out where I could put these things. Ta -da!

Here's where DH's skill is highlighted. He's amazing. This floor took him ages to do. He's a perfectionist!

Blissful shower with this showerhead!

Now, all of this stuff was supposed to go back in the bathroom (um except the shoe and the basket of clothes). Guess what - I just threw it out! Way to de-clutter!

My Annual Evaluation

I haven't had a formal evaluation since before I went to college when I was 24. And since I've been graduated, I've been either a contracted employee or an "as-needed" or PRN therapist - neither of which typically get evaluations for performance.

So tonight I had my first official one as an occupational therapist and what they had to say was neat. Here's a little bit of what my boss wrote:

"Many patients will tell me they met a cute, bubbly therapist last night, who taught them all about bathroom safety- this would be AMY (BUBBLY).She makes everyone happy and comfortable with her infectious smile. She is extremely consistent in her positive attitude and it is rare, if ever, you see Amy demonstrating a bad day."

However, they know me well. There was only one real criticism and that is that I have sometimes failed to return phone calls or emails. Yeah, this is totally true. I have this same problem in virtually all aspects of my life from my church calling to dealing with friends and family to dealing with creditors and other people who need to hear back from me.

I am terrible about that. And I'm sorry - I know I need to work on it and have known for a long time. I think it's a selfishness issue because I just hate taking time out of my day to return a call or answer an email that doesn't really need a response, especially when I've got so many other things going on. It gets worse the older I get.

But, all in all a good evaluation. I love being an occupational therapist. I LOVE it. I couldn't have found a more suitable profession for me. Being a therapist completes me in ways I could never have imagined. I'm so grateful that I persevered through the schooling. Not only is it the most flexible job I could have dreamed for as a mother, I feel like I actually make a difference with my patients. It's an amazing job. Believe me.

Up For Grabs

I have 2 or 3 pregnancy tests, and about 4 ovulation tests that are, of course, not used - unopened and obviously -NOT NEEDED anymore (yea!)

Whoever emails me first is welcome to have them. I'll even ship if you need me to.

p.s. the pregnancy tests are the cheapie dollar store models but honestly, that's all I've ever used and haven't had a "bad" test yet. The dollar store doesn't sell ovulation tests anymore so I got those at Walgreens or somewhere similar.

What's Amy Reading?

Have you ever read a book by James Michener? He's written books that sound boring like: Alaska, Hawaii, Chesapeake, etc. Don't the names of those books just invoke a snooze? They do for me at least.

But a few years back I picked up a book called The Source. It is about an archaeological excavation site of a hill outside of Jerusalem. It goes into detail and gives a fictional story about each layer that is uncovered and a certain object found. It goes all the way back to the inception of the earth. It gives such amazing historical information about the Jews, how that part of the world became what it is today and what types of people inhabited the earth. Something I thought snooze-worthy was fascinating to me!

I then started on Chesapeake which does a lot the same thing just on the banks of the Chesapeake river...the native Americans followed by the very first settlers and on and on until the present day. Awesome!

Now, I've gotten myself into Caravans. This one is set in Afghanistan, a country that for most of us is remote and unfriendly if not completely foreign and unknown. But it opens it wide up for anyone to inspect, and better yet - learn about. I am enjoying it so much!

If you truly love a novel that will capture you and teach you SO MUCH, then James Michener is for you.

Catch Up Post

What have I been doing since I haven't posted now for two days?

I've been watching the swimming and gymnastics events in the Olympics. I've been absolutely amazed at all of the performances. Tonight I watched the women's marathon and I literally cried as I watched Paula Radcliffe limp through the arena obviously in so much pain. What soul! But Constantina Tomescu (who won) is absolutely an amazing athlete. And then there's Dara Torres and Michael Phelps. It's been so fun to watch them both!

I've been cooking a little, and baking a little. I made my first dinner in 3 months last night. I made calzones which is sort of cheating since there was no meat other than pepperoni. But I made it and it counts! I also made zucchini bread and apricot/strawberry crisp. Oh, and rice krispie treats.

I went to the library, saw the play "BIG" at the Hale Center Theatre with my mom today, and shopping e-bay for cute school clothes for SP.

Something I haven't been doing is napping and that's just fine with me! Oh, but the cat allergy finally hit the fan and I've been having to take loratadine so that I don't accidentally sneeze my guts out onto the carpet! I certainly hope that allergy goes away once the baby comes.

Deceit

I recently read a post on Read My Mind today about some of the controversy and deceit going on in Beijing. I don't normally keep up on "newsy" stuff but have been watching the events religiously.

Now, I don't typically let myself get too riled up by things like this. If I did, I'd spend all my time coiled tighter than a rattlesnake because there's a lot of deceit going on in the world. Just look at politicians and government (ANY government). I just can't spend my time worrying about what's truth vs. what's a lie. I'd go gray in my thirties!

As I read about the little girl who lip synced and a few other what I consider pretty trivial other things done (fireworks, etc.), it made me remember all the controversy surrounding the olympics here in Salt Lake in 2002. We were in the hub of it so we heard everything, and there was a lot (do you remember the bribery scandal?)

Anyway, so I'm getting to my point...and aren't you glad? I think a few trivial things are okay - just move on and forget. And this is my cavalier attitude for most trivial things but it makes me wonder if I had this attitude about all trivial things, those doing the deceiving would also become cavalier and deceive more and more until we could never be sure about a single thing. It's about what we are willing to accept.

So in terms of the outcries that occur when something trivial happens, I suppose I'm glad that there is such intolerance. It keeps dishonesty somewhat in check.

Infuriating...and unfair

Can someone please tell me what the heck products and styling techniques I need to use to make my hair look like Victoria Beckham's?

My hair cut is the exact same...why does mine look like hers probably does when she gets it styled by Elmo?

I HATE my hair right now but I'd probably love it if I could get it to look half as good as this! DH said my hair would look like that too if I had a Hollywood stylist do it everyday too. True, true.
Of course it could be the contrast between an Audrey Hepburn body and my prego figure - it just doesn't do a lot for your hair. Don't you just love her hair? Spunky and bed-heady...perfect!

My Color Code

Years ago in my early twenties I took the Color Code testing as part of a work assignment that was popular then. Back then, I scored red with blue undertones. I had only a slight bit of yellow and a slight bit of white.

The color definitions are these (extremely simplified):

• RED (Motive: POWER)—These are the power wielders. Power: the ability to move from point A to point B and get things done, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of vision and leadership and generally are responsible, decisive, proactive and assertive. 

• BLUE (Motive: INTIMACY)—These are the do-gooders. Intimacy: connecting, creating quality relationships and having purpose, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of quality and service and are generally loyal, sincere, and thoughtful.

• WHITE (Motive: PEACE)—These are the peacekeepers. Peace: the ability to stay calm and balanced even in the midst of conflict, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of clarity and tolerance and are generally kind, adaptable, and good-listeners.

• YELLOW (Motive: Fun)—These are the fun lovers. Fun: the joy of living life “in the moment”, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of enthusiasm and optimism and are generally charismatic, spontaneous, and sociable.


A balanced person is someone who is 25% each of these colors. I fall short, let's just put it that way.

So, I re-took the test today expecting a big change mainly because the changes I've made since I was 20 are, to put it lightly, DRASTIC. I thought I'd score much higher in blue than in red. Here are the results of today's test:

Congratulations, you are a red.

red:	50.38%
blue:	??? %
yellow:	??? %
white:	??? %

Reds (Motive: Power)

Reds are motivated by Power. They seek productivity and need to look good to others. Simply stated, reds want their own way (listen up people - give me my way and I'll be happy!). They like to be in the driver's seat and willingly pay the price to be in a leadership role. Reds value whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it be in their careers, school endeavors, or personal life. What reds value, they get done. They are often workaholics. They will, however, resist doing anything that doesn't interest them (hmmm, no kidding!).

Reds like to be right (Really, I had no idea!). They value approval from others for their intelligence and practical approach to life, and want to be respected for it. Reds are confident, proactive, and visionary; and but can also be arrogant, selfish, and insensitive (at least I have an excuse!). When you deal with a RED, be precise, factual, direct, AND show no fear (oooh, I'm so scary! Puh-leeez)!

My second biggest color again I suspect is blue, although this test doesn't report that unless you pay. It looks like yellow and white are evenly spaced which makes sense because I'm about as interested in keeping the peace as making life into a party. That's just me, and I do regret it.

I always thought that being a "red" was sort of bad but I've actually been quite happy having that in my personality. It's not so much tied to self-esteem as it used to be and I've found that I have a naturally assertive and opinionated personality. I do think I'm right most of the time and try very hard not to impose that on other people as I think it's really rude when others do it to me (lol, because they're always wrong if their opinion is different than mine).

Curious about your dominant color? Go here and tell us about it. Then drop a comment so I can come see what you are! And we can thank Christy for letting us know about this little quiz!

I Miss Sushi

I've sort of been dreading DH saying, "Let's go for sushi!" because that means I'll have to deprive myself of something that I love. We both love sashimi and it's something I can't have right now.

DH wanted to go to Happy Sumo tonight and I went, of course because I can't say no to him. I had a spider roll and a baja roll and edamame while he ate the good stuff. Not that the rolls aren't great because they are! But I lusted after his plate for sure!

But......again....it's worth it!

What to Do, What to Do

We've got some big decisions going on in our little family right now. Decisions we've known were coming for a couple of years but now have hit a climax and if they are not made by us, they may be made for us.

I would really love to tell you all about it but that somebody is still reading my blog and should I spill my guts, surely it would work to our disadvantage because of their incessant and obnoxious gossiping. You know who you are, you little evil pest!

Anyway, quick purge of my spirit...moving on... *breathe*

I could use the moral support, some advice and words of encouragement as we enter a pretty unfamiliar place - a place of uncertainty. DH and I have always been very secure in pretty much all areas but I feel Maslow's hierarchy sort of deconstructing around us and it does not meld well with my personality.

I'm a planner, secure with little change. The baby is change enough and yet the changes on the horizon will rock my whole world and I'll just say I'm more than a bit nervous. But DH is not a risk-taker and I feel like I have to be strong and urge him to get a little crazy!

Believe me, as soon as I feel that some details are a little more ironed out and not just "talk", as so much of what DH and I do is really just "talk", it'll be posted here. And you can help me work out the rest of it...would you mind?

I Seriously Did

At our rec center, the exit doors don't have handles on the outside to discourage people from coming in anywhere other than the entrance where they can "check in" or pay. But it can be really inconvenient to go all the way to the entrance only to walk clear back around by the exit doors on the way to the pool. Poor me right?

So yesterday I was feeling insolent. As I was walking up to the exit doors with SP after her swim lesson, I saw these two girls who were about 13 or 14 standing outside the doors obviously waiting for someone to open the doors so they could make a quick entrance without going all the way around.

I saw it all in my head. I was still several steps away from the doors and I was thinking to myself,
"You're going to do this, aren't you?"

Self back to self: "Yeah, I think I am."
Self again: "You can't be serious! Are you really that petty? You've totally done what those girls are doing before!"

Self back to self: "I don't care. I'm just feeling nasty today."

And I walked up to the door, opened the door ...a crack...ushered myself and SP out and left the girls just a little crack of a chance on getting in those doors.

And I hated myself as I nearly giggled. Who is this little devil I have turned into?

Think About the Future

My brother-in-law's death has brought up a lot of questions for people that I've talked to. The sudden-ness and finality of it all. Some wives I spoke with were worried about their own situations, feeling that this hit home quite hard for them.

Fortunately, I'm not one of them. While I was pregnant with SP, DH and I went through our financial situation with a fine toothed comb outlining every single expense we could reasonably anticipate over the course of the next 30 years. It was difficult but worthwhile because of the peace of mind that we both have. We were both able to secure fairly decent insurance policies. His policy is for all of the living expenses I would have while I stayed home to raise our children, any special schools they might need to be in, as well as college expenses. It would also pay off any and all outstanding creditors and leave me with plenty to live on if I'm wise.

My policy is primarily there for childcare expenses because if something were to happen to me, that would be the main thing he'd have to worry about monetarily.

If you are a parent, and have been putting off life insurance, or haven't put much thought into it, I urge you to reconsider. Don't wait for the "responsible" one in your relationship to do it. Your children are counting on you to be there for them! Think of your work experience, income potential, how many children, and their ages and then do the math. Would you be okay without your spouse's income? A funeral alone costs about $15,000! Did you know that? Yikes!

When you begin to look into life insurance, think of all of the things you pay for whether it's monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly, yearly etc. Think of all that you want to provide for your children throughout their lives - and I mean everything. Think of how long you may prefer to be home with your children and make allowances for that.

Life insurance isn't as expensive as you may think, especially if you're still relatively young and in good health. Don't forget both parents - as I said before, you both provide something that would need to be replaced.

Nice Things To Do When Someone Dies

The night before the viewing, I did a pretty extensive internet search for some unique and tactful ideas of things you can do for someone when a person they care about has died.

I came up with nothing. Not a thing!

And feeling that flowers weren't personal enough for a close family member, I didn't do that although on retrospect, it would have been nice anyway.

But while I was hanging around that day before the viewing I was able to see some really nice things that were done for Brandon's wife and I wanted to list them out so that if you are ever in this position, you have a few ideas for extra-special things that you can do/bring. Most of these things were done for Brandon's wife and the family.

1. Create a funeral survival kit in a cutely decorated can. Put in kleenex, mints, aspirin, bottle of water, gel shoe inserts (for lots of standing), candy bar/granola bar, etc.

2. Get hold of pictures of the deceased w/family and doing things he/she loved and make a photobook for the family of special times.

3. Volunteer to take several existing pictures of the deceased and prepare them with mats and frames in time to display them at the viewing and funeral.

4. Create trust or college funds for the children and deposit as much as you feel appropriate into the account(s). Then, get the word out that the funds exist encouraging others to deposit as well.

5. Use the saying, "When Someone You Love Is In Heaven, You Feel Heaven In Your Home." Create vinyl lettering and put it on a large 12"x12" tile and provide a stand for it to sit on for the viewing. You can also adhere these vinyl letters to the glass in a picture frame with a picture of the deceased. (This was one of my favorite ideas and turns out so beautiful!)

6. One of my sisters-in-law wrote a little poem that I have had made into vinyl lettering to be adhered to a small metal sign with ribbon to hang on the front door. (I'll post a picture when it's complete) It says, "

We appreciate your help so much; the cards the gifts the food and such;
Our home is blessed with your presence here; to show how much you really care;
But a moment alone is what we crave; please call again another day!

7. Don't forget about food! It does get eaten! We found that nearly any type of food was helpful and very appreciated because there were so many people at the home for many days. Other things you can bring are paper plates, napkins, plastic silverware and cups. Bring a large cooler full of ice and different types of drinks. This was great!

I hope you've found some ideas you can use. Just remember that whatever you do it will be appreciated.

Brandon Lee Robinson Vernal, Utah Our loving husband, father, son, brother and friend, Brandon Lee Robinson, returned to his heavenly home, Wednesday, July 29, 2008, near Evanston, Wyoming, from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident while traveling to work. Funeral services will be held Saturday, August 2 at 11:00 in the Lake Fork Chapel in Mountain Home (Altamont) Utah. A viewing will be held Friday, August 1 at the Blackburn Vernal Mortuary (100 North 15 East Vernal, Utah) from 6-8 p.m. and at the chapel one hour prior. Interment will be in the Mt. Home-Bonneta Cemetery under the direction of Blackburn Vernal Mortuary.

Published in the Deseret News on 8/1/2008