Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Jumbled Thoughts

Today was a virtual whirlwind. I'm not sure I love days like that but it seems like more and more that's how my days "off" go. And to even have to say I have days "off" irks me because I wish all days were "off".

My friend Mandy had her second baby yesterday and I promised her I'd make her a carrier cover but her delivery day snuck up on me and before I knew it, the baby was here and I hadn't even picked out fabric yet! Off to the fabric store last night. I barely finished it in time today to take it to her this evening but at least I was able to deliver it to her before she checked out of the hospital to go home. What a sweet baby - so precious!

Somehow I also managed to get most of my laundry done, a healthy meal cooked for dinner, children cleaned, fed and amused all day and of course loads of work-related items finished. Blech.

And as I sat there with that sweet baby in my arms tonight I thought how 17 months ago I sat there with my brand new baby, and life was so much simpler then. At the time I hadn't any intention of returning to work and didn't mind that we were broke. All that was good was in my arms, or sitting beside me. I remembered that tonight. I wonder if I had the opportunity to completely stay home 100% of the time, would I succumb to The Marshmallow's pesterings and have yet one more child. I wonder.

To consider having another child means to put much of our financial planning on the back burner. It's difficult for me to let that get too far away from me - it's taken such a long time for me to gain control over our financial chaos. Not to say that a child wouldn't be worth it but for the first time in such a long time, I'm feeling peace about most aspects in my life and another child would surely upend everything.

I'm not ready to think about this. The end.

3 backward glances:

Christy said...

WOW! Look at you...just whipping that baby carrier cover out. Impressive AND you got it there before she left the hospital.

As for the rest of your thoughts...good luck. Those are some tough decisions.

Heidi Sue said...

You have to remember, that it would be hard for a few months, but with the way you are you would have a new routine down in no time, and then you would be fine.

Amy said...

Christy: haha - too funny. truth is those covers are pretty simple, about the simplest thing you can sew. if you can sew a seam, you can make one. but your awe fills me with vigor to get busy at my machine again soon. thanks :) it's one of the major things i miss when i'm so busy.

Heidi: i shouldn't let my alter-ego blog late at night; you never know what she's going to say, lol. but you're right. it would be crazy at first but I'm sure i'd get used to it and all would be fine. i don't think i'm ready for the changes in ME that seem to occur everytime i bring another rugrat into this world. i'm still sorting out who the heck i turned into after nicole was born. i keep hoping soon i'll figure it out.