Saturday, July 31, 2010

No Picture Unfortunately But I'll Take One

of my sweet little Bugs.

This summer has brought such unexpected changes in her. She's six now. And when I think that her next birthday brings 7, my heart literally breaks.

I look into her face now and over the past few weeks, I've noticed that it has less baby fat on it, her features are more defined, bigger...idk, older I think. She just looks older!

Sitting on the couch with The Marshmallow tonight, her long legs hung over the edge and she just seemed all limbs and grown-upness. Where did it come from all of the sudden, when I wasn't paying attention?

I just watched her because I could and it didn't embarrass her because she was watching TV and didn't know it. She gets so embarrassed easily anymore and she doesn't like me to look into her eyes. She gets all bashful.

I held onto her tonight after we read books and she got ready to snuggle down for sleep. And while her back was turned to snuggle into me, I started to cry. I wouldn't let her see me because she's so tender, she'd start to cry too and be confused because she wouldn't understand why she was, let alone why I was. But I'm sad because well, any of you moms know why. I don't need to explain.

4 backward glances:

Tiffany said...

Unfortunately, I do understand :) It happens much too quickly.

Rachel said...

I'm with you, I had that moment this morning with Charley. She kept pulling books off the shelf to read and I let her just so she would snuggle into my lap to read another. She is my last (really!) and as much as I try to embrace every moment it is all going so fast.

Esther said...

I felt the same way when I was holding Walter a few weeks ago. Three months old, and his legs were already dangling off my lap. He's getting so big too fast. Now he's got two teeth! It's going so fast. It makes me think of that quote in the play "Our Town" where the girl who dies asks an angel "Do people ever appreciate this life? Do they realize it every minute of every day?" (I don't know the exact quote, but that's the jist of what she asks).

Amy said...

Tiffany/Rachel: you guys probably totally know what I mean since you have kids this age too. It's amazing what goes on in the 6th year. I'm just not ready for it!

Esther: what the... you had a baby! where in all of the world have I been? i need to come see you and your cute baby boy! i feel like such a schuck not even having known you were pregnant!