Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Vaseline - Not a Mother's Friend

or perhaps a 3 year old and quiet time are not a mother's friend. Either way, my oldest came to me while I was otherwise engaged (enjoying the fact that my children were occupying themselves which should have been the first sign of chaos), to inform me that Tink was sitting on my bed covered in Vaseline.

Reverse to about 8 months ago when I finally allowed myself to purchase a beautiful new Duvet cover plus sheets and the whole nine yards for my King sized bed. I only mention the size because the bigger the bed, the bigger the investment. And yes, it was a heavy investment, one I had been thinking about for a long time but knew it was going to break the bank.  So I'm totally in love with my duvet which is a stormy blue sort of micro-fiber and is soft as a baby's bum.  It's one day I wish my bed wasn't made because who gives about white sheets? Vaseline stains wouldn't even show up!

That [precious] child of mine had vaseline caked all over her face, stuffed clear to the brim of her entire ear, and slicked into her hair like Pomade from the seventies, at least. It covered her shirt and her hands were practically webbed. But all of THAT is easy to clean compared to the mess on my beautiful duvet [that is only a possession, nothing at all compared to my daughter who is of greater worth than all my material wealth...] that brings me such joy at night. To my credit, I did not yell at all.  All I said was, "was that naughty or nice?" she says, "naughty" and I have to smile at her tiny, greasy face that is so precious and beautiful and curious and trouble-some.  These are not the times when I lose my cool fortunately.

I immediately laundered the items on high heat. Whether or not that was recommended, it was instinct. Pre-treat and high heat for oil.  It did not all.  There was still vaseline residue all over even.  On to rubbing alcohol...rubbing each and every spot and there are millions.  This worked for about a 50% improvement.  Next...hydrogen peroxide which worked considerably better but my elbow grease is running out. Where can you buy that stuff...I need some more NOW!  Currently I'm waiting the alloted 10 minutes with the WD40 takes a crack. I'm also testing ChemDry carpet cleaner, and will move on to baby powder, baking soda and mixtures of all sorts of things should these solutions prove fruitless.  It's 10pm.  I'm wearing out.

For the record, the child is not yet 3. She will be 3 in about 3 weeks. Just this morning at a store I commented to a store clerk that I hoped that 3 would be better than 2 and that it was seeming a possibility as her behavior is starting on an upward trend.  I either should have immediately found some wood or just kept my trap shut seeing as how the day ended up.

I almost forgot, my first line of defense was to plop the kid into the bathtub where I thought I washed her well. She was squeeky.  However later when I got around to putting her to bed, I picked her up to nuzzle her neck and stuck my nose into a glob of Vaseline in her hair. I guess I didn't lather her quite enough.  She looked like a greasy homeless child as she went to bed.  At least she's happy.

3 backward glances:

Tiffany said...

hahaha, I'm so sorry, but yay for documenting trauma :) Oil is the one thing I've had a hard time getting out, I hope the duvet cover makes a full recovery. I am convinced the reason I love 4 so much is because after the trauma of 18 months-3, anything seems like a breeze :)

Becky said...

All I can say is.....Oh my.

Amy said...

to be completely fair, Bugs did the exact same thing with Bag Balm when she was the same age. Difference was, it was Bag Balm, a much easier medium and she did it on my leather couch - no problem at all. Kids. They are keeping me on my toes...and will kill me.