Every Woman Knows The Feeling...

You know when you really know you don't want to have another baby...and then you think there might be a tiny possibility that you might be, and your mind starts nibbling the idea. And you start re-allocating bedroom space, and thinking about if you have appropriate modes of transportation, and your mind wanders over names again, you think about more stretch marks, and more dieting, and holding a little baby, and how you'll manage another one, figuring out who will babysit 3 monsters, and who will sit where now at the table.............

and then you find that you probably will live through it, and it might even be okay, even fun, even good...........

and then you find out you're not pregnant. And even though you never wanted to have another baby in the first place...........

you're sad?????

estrogen is mean

Tinker - You're 2!!

On this day, two years ago, I got to hold your little tiny body for the first time. I already knew you. You spoke to me in a special kind of way from the moment I knew you were alive inside of me, which was practically instantaneous.

You are...Nicole, Tinkerpot, Tink, Tinkerbell, Stinkerpot, Tinker, Love Bug, Love, Tinkerdoodle, Coley, Nicolette, Nicoley.

I say, "Good Morning Coley!" You say just as brightly, "Good Morning Coley!"

Your brown eyes mirror my own and your spirit is strong. You are stubborn, willful, bull-headed. Your father and I don't know where you got it but we both insist it was from the other. I suspect you inherited it from both and got a double dose. Good for you - in this world, you'll need it to stay strong and self-assured.

You are lovable...on your terms only. You insist on a good-night kiss every night and it's one of the few times when you offer first. Hugs are rare from you but you always want me to kiss your owies and lick your toes.

You're ticklish on every part of your body and your giggle is so infectious. As a matter of fact, you're loud - passionate about everything. No one is happy when you're not and no one is unhappy when you're happy. Your smile changes everything - your face, the room, anyone in your presence. But we all know when you're mad too. As a last resort, you'll lie face-down on the carpet silent as stone until you realize you're being ignored and then you'll hop up and act as if nothing happened.

You're a climber, a runner, a dancer, a singer, a Nemo lover. You are a marvelous mess maker. You are a candy lover. You're clever, having already found out how to open your sister's closed bedroom door and sleuth where she hides her candy, chapstick, marbles, pens and paint. Your little feet are so chubby they won't fit in any shoes but the very expensive kind although I have boxes and boxes of your sister's. You have a perpetual bruise on your forehead.

Coley, you are the one who made our family complete. We waited for you. I knew we were missing you. We were a wonderful family without you but are united forever as the family God intended now that you are here. I wonder who you will turn into as you grow. One thing I know, I want to be in your life for the rest of mine. I hope to always be your best friend. I pray that I will know how to use your stubborn nature to your advantage and mold you into the kind of woman that your Father in Heaven will be proud of. I am already proud of you and couldn't possibly love you any more. Just keep swimming, baby girl.

Your mom. Happy Birthday Tink.

I Heart GoodReads

Have you heard of GoodReads? I think most of you probably have and if you haven't, go there immediately. Or, go to my left sidebar and follow the link. If you're a reader (which you probably are since you're here...reading.)

I'm a huge reader. I wouldn't say I'd read anything as the older I get, the more discerning I become, but I read a lot. I used to read a book even if I wasn't enjoying it. Now, I'll read a few pages and if I can't get into it, I dump it. There's too many fish in the sea.

Tonight I got on a bunch of my friend's lists and had so much fun finding out who likes the same types of books that I do and I added a whole bunch of books to my "to-read" list just based on their tastes (that match mine). That's what's so fun. You never have to wonder what to read ever again!

And so tonight I got sucked into a book read challenge to read 50 books this year. Shouldn't be too hard considering I've already read 5 books this year. At this rate, I'll get well over my goal but we'll see. I sort of go in spurts. Follow my progress (and see what I like to read) by watching my new widget on the the left sidebar. If you think there's a book I might like, leave me a comment! I'll need lots of ideas this year!

But the coolest thing ever is this...I recently found an app for my iPhone that will let me download books from the library to read - not just listen to (I figured out how to download the audiobooks a long time ago) but now I can download them and read them on my iPhone too, for free! I'm totally in Nirvana - the library is an amazing and wonderful creation. So is GoodReads.