The Grumpy Hole

When SP is grumpy, I tell her if she doesn't snap out of it, she has to go sit in the grumpy hole outside until she feels better. She's still young enough that she has to really inspect my face for truth when I make a statement like that. But I'm like a mime...there's no expression.

I sat in the grumpy hole today for a long time.

I don't know why I was so pissed off all day but it was one thing after another. Tinkerpot bawling away during her nap just put me on edge. SP bawling that "I want my Daddy" - what, you like your Daddy better...well, go get him. Get out of my hair!

Was it that The Marshmallow's transmission did whatever it is that transmissions do when they decide they don't want to do what transmissions do anymore. What the transmission is doing now is costing us $3,000 that we don't have. These blessings that teach patience are not appreciated...yet.

I did not get a shower today. I only got 1/2 of my laundry done. My taxes are STILL NOT complete. My anticipated weekend activities are making me less than enthused. I burned plastic onto my iron. I forgot about Easter: dying eggs, putting up decor, accumulating necessary Easter accoutrement for a 4-year's Easter experience. Do you want anymore reasons? I've got lots..................................................................

I'm feeling much better right now though. Tinkerpot's asleep at my side. The house is quiet. I'm blocking out all of my responsibilities (my compartmentalization personality is awesome in times like this). My time is my own until I decide to go to bed which should be soon if I hope to get the appropriate amount of sleep I need to function in my world.

Sorry to verbally barf all of you tonight. But thanks for your "ear".

My Body's In Here Somewhere!!!

I'm not sure what happened, but my real body has disappeared beneath a few layers of fat! Where did said fat come from? I've no idea! Seems to me I've not discarded my real body anywhere; if anything, I've only contributed to my real body. I've been making offerings to it for months in hopes that it will appreciate the good life it's got around here in the form of Oreos, french fries and Twizzlers! Apparently it didn't appreciate the good life and has since moved onto greener pastures.

What's left? Some bulges over my pants, a closet full of clothing I don't fit into, and a little bulge under my chin that causes me extreme angst.

So after I got the go-ahead from the doctor last week, I decided on a rather extreme dieting and exercise program that if stuck to surely will entice my real body to come back from hiding. I started yesterday. Can you say, "ouch"? I can...everytime I stand up! This is not for the faint of heart people! I'm talking serious ouch exericses daily and a diet that leaves much to be desired...like oreos, doritos and twizzlers (not to mention anything with carbs and/or fat in it since anything like that is disallowed).

You might be saying (and I want to be saying) "come on, you just had a baby not even two months ago. Cut yourself some slack!" Yeah. That's how I got myself into this mess in the first place! Slack Shmack! Cutting slack will make me just like every other overweight mother who after several children has gotten used to her grossly misshapen body and never does anything about it. I refuse to be that mother. I'm a trim mom (I have to tell myself these things). I'm a mom who enjoys exercise (that's not a lie). Now I just need the body to back up these stories, er I mean statements.

Anyway, blah blah - I'm doing this thing. I'm putting myself out there (not so far as to show you my fat pictures because that's hideous), but I have to be accountable. I have a blog for this, of course. It's not a new blog, but rather one I put on hold while I was pregnant. I'm back at it now. Watch me go! Literally.

You Know Those...

tubes of refrigerator biscuits? Anyone else completely mentally compromised and not able to follow package directions? I can't ever seem to get the diagonal paper to tear off accurately and so I have to dig at the crack with a spoon until the biscuit tube explodes...consequently making me nearly pee my pants.

That's my newsworthy happenings from today.

So Sue Me

My Jeep was done around tenish this morning so I was able to make it to my appointment with the accountant to get our taxes done. Is there a more dreaded task? It's as if you sit there and await The Man sending down your verdict. I owe what?

It actually didn't get to that point. I've never actually itemized before and this year because both Todd and I are self-employed, we can't avoid it. I came away with more to do than I can possibly manage in a year to collect all of the information he needs. I guess I know what I'll be doing for the next few days and nights. What am I doing blogging? Procrastinating the inevitable - avoiding, hiding, denial, basically putting my head in the sand. So what?

So the title of my blog is about this next item which I'm sure is very controversial but it's my life and I'm living it. I've mentioned my binky war from time to time - perhaps you've engaged in your own battle at various times in your life. I know it'll be a good thing but I'm having a hard time seeing past TODAY.

So I got some non control top panty hose, and cut strips out of them, tied little knots to the binky and wrapped the loop around Tinkerpot's ears. She is easily able to push it out of her mouth but there's just enough pressure to keep it from falling out every time she moves. There's absolutely no way she could choke on her puke, if that were to happen because the panty hose isn't tight. But it works. She's been in her crib for 1/2 hour now and I haven't had to go in there a single time to stick it back in. It's amazing. Truly.
Before you judge me, know that I talked to at least 5 other women who have attempted this in one way or another. I am not alone in my bad parenting. I'm just a mom working it out!