So I mentioned yesterday that I lost two friends last week and how I'd talk more about it later. I'm not going to give specifics...or names for that matter since it really all just doesn't matter.
What does matter is the reason it happened. I do KNOW the reason, even if it is all very convoluted.
I was accused of gossiping, of all things. Something we all know that I have done, due to my solitary recriminating post of a few weeks past. I admit it...I have done it. I'm not a hypocrite. I've even been on the other side, and it totally sucks.
When I was accused, rather vehemently by my friend I, frankly, was so shocked and offended that I just tried to show her how mistaken she was about my character! Because after all, I truly was innocent of all charges!
However, on retrospect of the situation later I was ashamed! Ashamed because I am a total hypocrite. No, I have never gossiped about this particular person, but I for sure have gossiped heatedly about other people that didn't deserve it. I just didn't get caught then.
It's karma. It got me. I can't fight it; I have no defense. All I can do is pray that she knows I didn't do what she says, and work on being a better person. It's a constant battle.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Where'd My Halo Go?
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9 backward glances:
I don't quite understand. It makes my brain hurt. While the specifics of your story are completely foreign to me, I do know how you feel. I've done things to people at various times in my life and still blush with shame from time to time when something or someone reminds me of it.
Glad you are back.
lol Steve - it makes my brain hurt too!
i will still never forget a quote you posted several months ago:
"You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better." Maya Angelou
i know i've referenced it in a comment to you before, but it keeps coming into play! hang in there. we live and learn. (((hugs)))
this is a great post - because I can totally relate. Things have a way of coming back at us...
Hope it all gets straightened out.
Blessings,
Karla
Josey: thanks for reminding me. I think you even reminded me that on my last gossiping post too!
karla: thanks for coming by my blog and leaving me a comment. i do too and even if it doesn't, it's a lesson well learned. i keep getting variations of this lesson so hopefully i can finally learn it and move on with my life! :)
Sorry but I don't agree- you don't deserve what happened at all. I was there and I know exactly what was said and that is was totally misconstrued. Be kinder to yourself- you are great.
Maya Angelou is a very wise old soul. Believe her.
If you've lost 2 friends, were they really friends if they can't forgive a moment of poor judgement, a moment which you now regret? I don't need specifics to know that true friends recognise our weaknesses and our mistakes. What makes them friends is they love and forgive us anyway.
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry.
Sounds more to me, and forgive me not knowing the whole situation or reading the other comments, but it sounds as if they might not have been 'real' friends. A life friend, a kindred spirit a true Christian friend, would listen and attempt understanding and forgiveness.
A loss of a friend or acquaintance is always painful, but sometimes... it's bigger than us.
Have a thrilling Thursday.
Sorry girlfried. You still have me. And I want a girls night out too :)
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