Most of our lives are spent in either giving or receiving. At various times in our developmental cycle, we are generally tipping the scale heavily in one side or the other. Such as children, mainly they take. But they do a good portion of giving (or else no one would ever have them right?) They give us warm-fuzzies, kisses, loves, etc.
Sometimes it can be great fun to receive, like at Christmas. But most of the time it is really hard to receive! It's like we're announcing we have a weakness that needs filled, a requirement that can only be filled by another person. That's difficult!
It's so much easier to give, isn't it? If you do it for the right reasons, the payback is instantaneous. You feel amazing because you were able to help someone.
I thought of this because today I helped someone who didn't make a request but obviously needed it in a big way. And I felt so good for doing it but I had to wonder how the recipient felt afterward. How will she look back upon the situation? Will she feel guilty? Will she feel like I do when someone helps me? Like I'm in debt and strive for an opportunity to "pay it back". Well, I don't know this person and there's no way she can, so I hope she can just take it for what it was.
Have you seen the movie "Pay it Forward". I really liked it. It's that whole theory that you can't pay it "back", so you pass it on to a new person.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Giving and Receiving
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10 backward glances:
Indeed I did. And so you have. It is a great concept I agree. I practice it as often as I can.
i havent seen the movie, but i understand the concept and think paying it forward is one of the best ways to spread good will and touch people's lives. the unconditional-ness of it breeds gratitude and true thankfulness that spreads and reminds us that the seeds we plant will blossom for someone else and bless them, too!
sometimes i wonder if the concept itself is more powerful than the tangible action of giving in some situations.
and really, either is a good and powerful thing :)
great post!
Gypsy: i imagine you do! that's what i like about you!
josey: girl, where are your pom pons? you're so great!
I heard someone say something once:
"Whoever said that it is better to give than to receive, doesn't know math"
Which changed my mind about this whole issue.
I was engaged to be married awhile back and everything I EVER gave that man went completely unused, unopened, and possibly, unwanted, and I gotta tell you, I was not happy.
I bet he STILL hasn't ever opened or used the things I gave him.
Think, if you had given something or of yourself and it was NOT recieved (to balance the equation!!!) how WOULD it feel THEN?!?
If you have received, your best bet is GRATITUDE!
Say 'Thank You' and mean it.
It will balance the equation if you accept and you will 'give back' I suppose with your gratitude.
Doesn't that make more sense?
What if your kids DIDN'T 'take' - they would not grow up healthy and strong. They MUST recieve what is given and it improves their lives.
I think we can all do that.
Believe me, the one who gives will be so pleased you accept. Go ahead and be equally pleased to receive.
It'll all work out...
Pam Hoffman
http://seminarlist.blogspot.com
Pam: well said. thank you for that addition! thanks also for stopping by!
Tonite I had a killer headache. Abby saw me pressing my temples, and she asked if I hurt. I said yes and she automatically pulled my head towards her so she could kiss my "owie." When she was done, she looked at me and said, "All better?" And although my headache was still there, I think my heart hurt more because she loved me enough to want the hurt to stop. How sweet is that?
oh, that's precious! she's such a cutie.
I've spent the last 8 months trying to pay it forward for the kindness and generosity my BTFL girls showed and taught me.
It's good to be part of a group that looks for ways to help others.
Thank you for your example and strength.
You are right. It is often easier to give than to receive.
I recall one time that I was in need and a friend offered to help me. He handed me a sizable sum of money to meet the need.
I was proud. I said, "Ron, I just can't take that. It's too much." I politely but emphatically refused his help.
Then, he said something to me that I will never forget. With sincerity on his face and sadness in his eyes, he said, "Steve, let me love you this way."
Receiving help can be a very humbling thing, but to refuse help is to rob someone else of the chance to love.
Now, when I offer to help someone and they refuse, I just say, "let me love you this way."
Jesus said that it is more blessed to give than receive. That's true. But sometimes, by receiving, we give a blessing.
Right before Christmas I read a blog that talked about a woman who accidentally paid for her husband's gift with her debit card rather than her Pay Pal card. It caused her account to be overdrawn and she was anguished about it. The amount was $50 and I was struck by the fact that there are people out there $50 is a huge deal.
So, I looked her up on Pay Pal and sent her $50 with the instructions to "pay it forward" one day.
It felt really good to help someone. She never thanked me, though and soon after the blog disappeared. I wonder if the gesture was too uncomfortable for her.
I'm not sure if I would do something like that again.
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