Once upon a time, there was a girl who was the victim of some terrible gossiping that went on for many months. It hurt her very badly and she realized how it felt to be on the other side of that unfriendly vice. She vowed to never gossip again.
I really wanted to be known as "the girl who doesn't gossip". It was really important to me and I tried REALLY hard to do it. It was easy when I was new in the area and didn't know many people.
Fast forward to today...oh.my.gosh! How many freaking different people can I gossip with in one day? Let me count.......1,2,3,4,5,6. I had extensive gossiping conversations with SIX different people today! Okay okay. I know some of you out there are thinking...she's WACKO! Why is she stressing out? What a stupid thing to even be thinking about!!
No, it's not. It's a terrible sin. I would be so motified, humiliated, and ASHAMED if ANY of the people I gossiped about heard anything I said. And those are people that I'm not especially fond of! I do not intend to hurt people but I'm doing it behind their back! That's SUCH an unkind thing to do! I feel awful that I've let myself be so horrible.
Alright alright. Here it is. Some of you are my friends. For those of you who don't know me, and just lurk here...I'm going to say it out loud in case you haven't already guessed. I'm Mormon. Think what you will. If you think that the sin of gossiping is weird then yes, you're right if you're most people. But Mormons are concerned with sins of character like that. That's why I'm freaking out - it's not who I want to be.
Anyway, I gossiped about a lot of people today, people I don't even really know in some cases as well as people who probably think they're my friend. I'm too ashamed to call them all up and say I'm sorry but I am. I'm sorry. To all of you who I said bad things about today (none of them probably even read my blog!), I'm sorry. I'm trying to do better, I promise.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
It's Such a Bad Habit
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10 backward glances:
I to fall into that trap too often. It's human nature I guess. But perhaps that is one of those little things that we have to work hard to overcome to become truly a saint :) Don't be to hard on yourself, it takes two people to gossip, we are all at fault.
Okay, the guilt will probably lead to a renewal of good (non-gossiping) behavior. It's impossible to be perfect, but keep trying to better yourself.
That said..."lurk?" Wow. That was a little painful. (She asks, as she crawls off in a cloud of shame...)
(too funny Barbara!) so Amy, I too am really trying hard not to gossip, but it is a REALLY hard thing. And Rachel is right, it takes two!...and... I forgive you-
hee hee!
wow, amy. i'd have to say you earned brownie points with God by admitting to that one! gossiping seems to be one of those sins that we say, *GASP* "oh, i never do that." ...yeah, just after we've trash-talked so-and-so's daughter's son-in-law, kid, dog, etc...people we usually dont even know well. it's hard enough asking God to forgive us and then acting upon our repentance, let alone admitting it to the public.
i really know how you feel, and this post was a good reminder for me now that i'm making new friends where i live. its easy for me to fall into the gossip trap to feel like i belong in a certain crowd. but i dont want to be like that; i know its wrong and deep down it makes me feel horrible! and it just breeds more sin.
i'm sure this post will keep us thinking next time that "innocent" friend whispers a little gossip in our ear. its a good thing, because sometimes its almost easy to forget when we cross the line.
now go feel better and do better cause God has forgiven you! (((HUGS)))
Rachel: we have to work REALLY hard to overcome it - especially being LDS in Utah where we all live and socialize so closely together. that makes it so hard. we all know the same people and 2+2=4
Barbara: I hope it leads to new behavior. All I can do is try my best. BTW: "Lurk" is just blogsphere code for blog-surfing. I hate its connotation too but it's just jargon. Lurk here as much as you like - I love to read your thoughts.
Shelby: oh please! the only gossiping I do about you is to your face, little wholesome girl! lol
Josey: gossiping feels so good sometimes especially when you've got something juicy, which I did today - but being on the right hand of God feels better, I think. You're right.
I still love you.
Can't remember exactly how I ended up here, but thought, "Hey!" I'll chime in! Gossiping has never been big with me and it has nothing to do with any religion. I have friends who love to gossip, and I listen to it, but don't have much to share in return. They don't seem to mind because they know I'm just not motivated or interested. Clueless, I guess. I've always been more of a nerd, and along those lines, don't notice the same "gossip qualifying" factors that others might. I can't tell jokes, either. I can snark mightily over bad drivers, neighbors who are anything but neighborly, politicians I don't care for, and rude people. Is snarking the same as gossiping?
You are so funny with your avatars Amy. I love the one you put up tonight. She says it all doesn't she? Listen, I'm a lapsed Catholic but I still remember some things. Have you ever heard of doing penance for your sins? Here's what I recommend: In the following days, turn back the clock. Say something nice or DO something nice for each and every person you gossiped about. You don't even have to advertise what you are doing and it doesn't have to be major. No throwing yourself in front of the car or anything. Just a pay it forward kind of act or comment. God will forgive. That's just the way it is.
You know we all do things or say things we wish we could take back, and fear that what we said might come out. I too found myself doing the same thing, until it was done to me. It made me feel so bad. I didn't know who I could talk to that wouldn't tell the whole ward. Amy, No one is perfect. We do the best that we can do. Maybe next time when you feel a gossip session coming on, you can stop yourself. all we can do is try to be better. Your a good person. don't let it get you down. God knows what's in your heart.
Love ya.
Hi Amy - I'm so glad you found me on Entrecard. This was a very honest and human post. Thanks for being so real. I think shame and guilt isn't always as productive as kindly understanding yourself and why you join others while they gossip. When I catch myself doing it, I realize that a) I want to belong to the current crowd, and/or b) I want to feel better about myself by comparing myself favorably to others. I had a girlfriend who had an amazing way of stopping me in my tracks when I fell, by habit, into gossiping. She'd smile and listen and nod until I finished my intro, then she'd say, wistfully, "Oh to be perfect enough not to do the same thing (as the person I had been trashing). I wish for it every day!"
Gulp.
She wasn't being mean to me, but she was making it so clear that all of us are too flawed to trash anyone else.
Anyway - you are very cool to even recognize it when you do it! Just a short step away from modifying behavior.
When you get it down to a science, come on over to my blog and remind me. :-)
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