tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732505642831040032.post7970884351047559850..comments2023-08-14T08:40:47.954-06:00Comments on You Are A Fly On My Wall: What To Do With Your TeenagersAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15167781724086312806noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732505642831040032.post-91185209615562491342007-10-18T07:19:00.000-06:002007-10-18T07:19:00.000-06:00What a great post! I struggled with the same issu...What a great post! I struggled with the same issues as a teen and even later, and you are right...it is a relief to be able to analyze it and go on now. I think alot had to do with having a dad whose presence wasn't felt...and I think that you begin to understand alot once you have your own family. Just look at your "growing up" years as a lesson in what you don't want to be to the SP....I think you are already doing that! :)Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13667920524954629650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732505642831040032.post-69762805618259797062007-10-17T12:36:00.000-06:002007-10-17T12:36:00.000-06:00Wow, I just left a super long comment, and blogger...Wow, I just left a super long comment, and blogger deleted it. Let's see if I can recreate it:<BR/><BR/>I always knew that you had it harder with Dad than I ever did. Nevertheless, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you as a listening ear. I seem to have been asleep much of my life (at least until I turned 21) so I'm not so sure I would have been all that helpful.<BR/><BR/>I can totally relate to what you said about wanting to be there for your kids though. That's one main reason that I stay home. "They" say that your kids will talk if you're there when they get home: from school, from work, from dates, from wherever it was that took them away from you. If you're there every time, they'll get used to it and they'll come to expect it. If they expect it, it'll become a comfort. And that's a good thing.<BR/><BR/>I'm so glad that we can overcome our pasts...our each individual hurdles. It's such a relief to be able to look back, disect it, analyze it, rage about it, cry about it, blame myself or him or her or them, come to grips with it, and then finally...discard it. Not discard the past, but instead nullify its ability to define my identity.<BR/><BR/>And then we can decide to really be there for someone else. And that's good too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732505642831040032.post-49782714131241426842007-10-17T09:58:00.000-06:002007-10-17T09:58:00.000-06:00I've never heard it put any better than friendinme...I've never heard it put any better than friendinme when he said: "your presence is your daughter's safe place." <BR/>Thank you for that.Shelbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12235963866737785336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732505642831040032.post-34356354372437148962007-10-17T08:35:00.000-06:002007-10-17T08:35:00.000-06:00Amy ~The more I read of your posts, the more I thi...Amy ~<BR/>The more I read of your posts, the more I think we have in common. I, too, had a 'unstable' high school experience, so to speak and NEVER felt like I could be honest and open with my mom, which was hard. I also could never write about this on my blog (because she is probably my most dedicated reader) and she WOULD feel guilty and like she was a bad mother because of it even though I don't believe that now...she was only doing the best she could at the time and I know that she loved/s me. However, it makes me think, too, about my daughter's future and what kind of relationship we will have as she gets older and I can only hope that I'll find a way to make her feel comfortable being open with me...time will tell.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732505642831040032.post-89764258569116476182007-10-17T07:54:00.000-06:002007-10-17T07:54:00.000-06:00Being a parent is such a huge responsibility! I d...Being a parent is such a huge responsibility! I don't know how people do it without Gods help:)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01363315018206595234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732505642831040032.post-16273801285343818012007-10-16T23:29:00.000-06:002007-10-16T23:29:00.000-06:00very nice post, Amy and a difficult lesson well le...very nice post, Amy and a difficult lesson well learned.<BR/><BR/>Reading your post was for me, as a father/husband, a touching and humbling thing. <BR/><BR/>I remember when my daughter was born that someone wisely told me, "your presence is your daughter's safe place." I have remembered that very often. (She is 19 now.)<BR/><BR/>I know you weren't blaming your dad. I am guessing he had no idea what happened to you. But your story reminded me once again how important it is for dads to be a safe place.<BR/><BR/>Thanks.FriendinMEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16715099115842914210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3732505642831040032.post-14242817190612059252007-10-16T19:47:00.000-06:002007-10-16T19:47:00.000-06:00My 18 year old daughter who no longer lives at hom...My 18 year old daughter who no longer lives at home wants to neither talk to me nor listen to anything I have to say..at this point in time I feel I have failed with her..who knows maybe with time things will change.<BR/><BR/>Sixteen year old son and I have a fantastic relationship and the communication lines are well and truly opened both ways.<BR/><BR/>Maybe it is a female thing that we don't *want* to hear what our mother has to say..although you did so i am not sure..thanks for making me thing :)Mad goat ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05412364157067168395noreply@blogger.com